


(be just a little) brave

by NovaCaelum



Series: mesmerised [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, IwaOi are background, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 03:04:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20075086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaCaelum/pseuds/NovaCaelum
Summary: Ushijima always knew what his feelings meant, it worried him sometimes, because Tendou was out of his reach...





	(be just a little) brave

**Author's Note:**

> My random title for this was "UshiTen, except Ushi is s o f t and Tendou is oblivious", lmao.
> 
> plz excuse any errors, it's late and i'm half asleep.

Ushijima, contrary to what most people thought, was very in touch with his feelings. There'd been times he'd gotten caught unaware, situations that he couldn't make sense of (and might never be able to), but he wasn't dense. He knew how he felt, how that was different depending on the person; if he disliked someone, he did, and if he liked someone, he did. It was quite simple. Until Tendou Satori had barrelled into his life; at first, it had been easy, they worked together on the court, and then Tendou had pushed, they spent more time together, becoming friends (best friends, Tendou had insisted), Ushijima hadn't thought much about it much. Until he began to notice when Tendou's fingers were raw, the tape never quite hiding how hard he pushed, callouses ingrained into them. Then, Ushijima noticed his laugh, loud and boisterous, but pleasant. Before long, he'd found himself in a pit, his heart race quickening whenever they were alone and he knew what it meant. He'd had girls confess to him before, while he'd always had given a blunt answer, they seemed to never quite give up. He couldn't understand that at first, they didn't know him, how could they like him? The team had poked fun, and even called him heartless and cruel. He hadn't meant to be cruel, and he definitely wasn’t heartless, his feelings for Tendou proved otherwise.

And, **maybe** Tendou had been the reason why he had always said no. He thought it would be crueller to lead someone on, to act like he could feel the same, when he already liked someone so much. Ushijima had hoped it would pass with the beginning of university; but, he'd ended up at the same one as Tendou, and again, in the same volleyball team. He was a little surprised to see Oikawa at the same university too, and they found out they were roommates; Ushijima had expected Oikawa to kick up a fuss, but he was surprisingly calm about it, like university was a new leaf, or maybe he was just tired of it all. At first, Ushijima thought he just did it since they would be spending a year together, then he thought it was for the sake of the team but sometimes it was like Oikawa was almost trying to get along with him. Slowly, they became friends.

He found himself confiding in Oikawa, without mentioning Tendou’s name and the conversation had been eye-opening, even if Oikawa had teased him a little about it, he didn’t find himself minding it too much. Not when Oikawa had so easily said to him, _”I love Iwa-chan. I don’t know what to do either.”_ Ushijima could compare himself to Oikawa, sometimes it was scary.

He trudged into the room, after a late shift, Oikawa was still up studying and sleepy greeted him, “You should get some rest.”

“I can’t slack Ushiwaka-chan!”

“There’s a difference between slacking and taking care of yourself.”

“You almost sound like Iwa-chan,” Oikawa turned to pout at Ushijima; Ushijima was stood there with his arms folded, looking less than impressed, “Fine! Fine.” Oikawa closed his book and jumped up from his chair; his head rushed and dizziness overcame him, he stumbled helplessly to the ground.

Ushijima barely caught Oikawa in time before his head hit the floor, “Oikawa!” He checked him over, breathing a sigh of relief when he seemed to be fine; regardless, he wanted to get him checked over, so he made Oikawa as comfortable as possible on the floor and poked his head out of the room to see if he could find anyone. A boy from a couple of rooms down saw Ushijima and rose his brow, “Sorry. Could you get some help for me? My roommate collapsed.” He went wide-eyed, nodding quickly before sprinting toward the exit.

Ushijima returned to Oikawa’s side, he slid a pillow under his head and made sure he was still settled on his side; he looked up at a noise at the door, wondering if that could be help already, but Tendou was stood there, “Wakatoshi-kun, what happened?”

“He collapsed. I’m just waiting for help.”

Tendou watched Ushijima, his hand gripping tightly onto the door-frame; he’d noticed how close the two had became, and rather quickly considering their past run-in’s. He hated it. Everything had been better before university. Ushijima was his friend, they spent most of their spare time together and now Oikawa had seemed to worm his way between them. He wanted to go back to Shiratorizawa, where it had been easier, and he could have Ushijima to himself.

The sound of footsteps caught Tendou's attention and he moved aside so the nurse could make her way into the room; she checked over Oikawa then turned to Ushijima, “It seems he’s passed out, I would like to keep an eye on him though. Do you think you can carry him to the infirmary for me?”

“Yes," Tendou swallowed, unnerved by how quickly Ushijima had answered; he picked up Oikawa easily, being careful, then he followed the nurse from the room, “Tendou, the keys are on my desk, could you lock up for me? I’ll collect them later.” Tendou could only nod in response, watching Ushijima leave with the nurse, Oikawa perched in his arms.

He’d always been careful, he thought, picking up the keys and locked the door; Tendou knew that Ushijima was almost hyper-aware of everything that went on around him, of what people thought of him. Tendou always had to try to make sure Ushijima didn’t pick up on his feelings, he didn’t want to ruin their friendship. But now, he was beginning to wish he’d said something sooner, he hated feeling like Ushijima had slipped through his fingers; Tendou slumped into his room and buried himself in bed, ignoring Semi’s greeting.

Semi rose his brow, he knew Tendou’s moods could flip upside-down in an instant and he clearly didn’t want to talk about it, so Semi turned back to his unfinished assignment. He only looked up again at a knock on the door; it was almost time to pack up for the night anyway, otherwise he’d never get a good rest, so he got up and answered, a little surprised to see Ushijima there, “I came to get my key from--” Before he could finish, a hand appeared beneath Tendou’s covers and Ushijima's key hit him square in the chest, he wondered how Tendou could do that without hitting Semi and without looking. Ushijima grasped at it and turned to Semi, “What’s wrong?”

“He came in like this,” Semi shrugged, “What happened with you?”

“Oikawa collapsed. The nurse suspects it’s just fatigue but she wanted to keep an eye on him.”

“I see. What will happen later then?”

“I’m not sure. I used his phone to call Iwaizumi, so I think he should be coming to look after him. I’m not good with that and I’m not his babysitter.”

“I thought you liked him.”

Ushijima’s brows furrowed, it was true he was friends with Oikawa, and they were getting along better. Maybe that did mean he liked him, but something about Semi’s told him he didn’t mean that, it was something else, “We’re friends. You know Oikawa, you should know his type easily enough. Goodnight Semi,” He looked over at the lump in the bed, that belonged to Tendou’s body, “Night Tendou.”

“Goodnight,” Only Semi’s response came and Ushijima turned his gaze away, quickly heading back to his room. Semi shut the door and turned to Tendou, smirking despite Tendou's inability to see it, "You're jealous."

"No. Goodnight Semi." Semi scoffed at Tendou's reply, rolling his eyes; he knew that pushing the subject would only make Tendou go quieter, so instead, he set to getting ready for the night.

* * *

Ushijima had spent far too long trying to figure out what Tendou's problem was, they hadn't spoke since the night Oikawa had collapsed and it felt like Tendou was avoiding him. Oikawa returned fresh as a daisy and surprisingly grateful that Ushijima had called Iwaizumi, it seemed they had a big talk-to-talk and it turned out well for them. Ushijima couldn't help but feel a little jealous. He was trying to study, but Tendou seemed to invade his every thought, so he sat back with a sigh, "Ushiwaka-chan, what's gotten into you?"

"Tendou...I think he's avoiding me," Oikawa poked his head into Ushijima's line of sight and the taller boy moved away, "Ever since you collapsed. Did I do something wrong?"

"I don't think so. You only helped me, right?"

"Yeah, I waited with you while someone got the nurse and then I carried you down to the infirmary, like she asked."

"Then Tendou started avoiding you?"

"That's right."

Oikawa seemed to be thinking for a moment and it made Ushijima feel a little impatient, until he suddenly perked up, like he realised something and quickly stepped back, "He thinks we're dating!"

"Why would he think that?"

"Ushiwaka-chan, you're not dense! I know you, you can figure that out," Ushijima shrugged, he couldn't think of any reason why Tendou would perceive his and Oikawa's relationship as anything other than friendly, or even why he would be bothered by that, "You were acting like my saviour. A way someone would want their ideal boyfriend to act. So, maybe he thinks he's giving us space?" Oikawa suspected otherwise, but he didn't know Tendou well enough to outright say that he had feelings for Ushijima. And anyway, he'd had to figure out his own budding relationship with Iwaizumi all on his own, Ushijima could manage this much.

"I should talk to him then."

"Hey! No need to rush! Iwa-chan is coming to visit this weekend, it'll be fine."

"If you say so. But if nothing changes, then I will talk to him."

"You just need to admit how you feel Ushiwaka-chan, it might be easier."

"You can't say that to me just since you and Iwaizumi worked out fine, this is different." Oikawa shrugged in response, he returned to his own desk, smiling to himself as he read over the pages; even if it was just a small seed, he hoped it might give Ushijima a little push towards being honest with Tendou.

* * *

They had volleyball practice at the weekend too; Oikawa strutted into the gymnasium, proudly hand-in-hand with Iwaizumi, he also felt it necessary to inform the entire team to keep their eyes **and** hands off. Iwaizumi had looked a little bashful, he pushed Oikawa away with a soft kiss on the cheek and found a seat in the bleachers, where he could watch them. Oikawa seemed entirely on-point too, like Iwaizumi ignited something inside him and Ushijima felt happy for him, he hoped that maybe, one day he could have something that nice.

As practice dwindled down and Oikawa left with Iwaizumi, proudly shouting, _don't come back any time soon Ushiwaka-chan_, to the disdain of Iwaizumi. Ushijima had been confused until Semi sniggered, _disgusting_; Ushijima ended up staying behind to help with clean-up, joined by Tendou and Samurawa. Once they were done, Sawamura bade them a goodbye and headed to his dorm; Ushijima wasn't quite sure what to do, he didn't want to be interrupting Oikawa, and Tendou was far too quiet at his side, "Wakatoshi-kun?" Ushijima looked over at Tendou, a little surprised, "Would you like to go for ramen? While Oikawa is busy with Iwaizumi?"

"Yeah, sure," They still walked in silence to the nearest ramen shop, the bell on the door sounding far too loud in Ushijima's ears; they ordered and took a seat together. He couldn't help but notice that Tendou's fingers seemed to be taped up more and he wondered what he'd been doing, "Tendou, what happened?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Were you avoiding me? Oikawa seemed to think you might have assumed he and I were together, since I helped him."

"Oh," Tendou took a sip of his drink, trying to avoid Ushijima's gaze for a moment, "I didn't want to be intruding on anything. I know now that I should have just asked you. But that night, you looked so concerned about him, and you've gotten really close recently. I guess I didn't want to be a bad best-friend and take up all your time. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. You never have to worry Tendou, I'll always have time for my friends too," Tendou felt a strange flutter in his chest at those words, even if it was something simple, he was happy to know that Ushijima wouldn't just forget about him; their food arrived and the silence between them felt more comfortable now, it made Ushijima feel a lot calmer too, the awkwardness had lifted. The bustle of the shop and Tendou's soft smile made Ushijima remember why he couldn't say anything more; they took their time clearing their bowls and bade the staff a goodnight when they left, "I hope Oikawa has had enough time."

"We've been gone long enough, but this is Oikawa we're talking about."

Ushijima felt inclined to agree, so they didn't rush back to the dorm either, taking a slow peaceful walk back; once they reached their floor, Ushijima knocked on his door first, waiting for an answer and when one didn't come, he tentatively let himself in. He blinked in surprise when he saw neither Oikawa or Iwaizumi there, "They're gone."

"Huh?!" Tendou poked his head around Ushijima, slowly surveying each inch of the room, "It doesn't even look like they've been here."

"No," Ushijima walked into the room, dropping his key in its usual spot before pulling out his phone to text Oikawa, bluntly asking where he was.

_Ushiwaka-chan, I just gave you some quality alone time with Tendou! I hope you make the most of it~_

Ushijima spluttered, shoving his phone back into his pocket, "I might have to talk with him."

"What did he say? Any juicy gossip?"

"They're staying out for the night."

Tendou hummed, he could tell Ushijima didn't want to get into this conversation, so he stepped back out into the hall, "Goodnight then. Enjoy this peace while it lasts."

"Thank you Satori," Tendou rose a brow, he was sure his stomach had quivered at hearing Ushijima use his given-name so easily, "I'm glad you're talking with me again."

"Me too."

"Night." Tendou nodded, closing the door gently behind him; Ushijima stared at the door, feeling a little like he'd had a moment where he could have--_should have_, said something to Tendou, but he back peddled and it made him drop down onto his bed, squeezing his eyes shut.

* * *

"You didn't tell him?" Ushijima's head hurt, Oikawa was too noisy and he'd already spent half the night berating himself over not telling Tendou. He only told Oikawa because he needed some advice on how to get past his fear of ruining their friendship. Nothing Oikawa could say would change Ushijima's mind, "I thought you were braver than this."

"Not with him," Ushijima sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, "I've never been able to read Tendou, not many people can. I don't want to lose what I've got."

"But it could be so much better Ushiwaka-chan. So much more! I know it's a risk. I've been in your position too, I know it seems easy for me to say when things worked out with Iwa-chan," Oikawa touched Ushijima's shoulder, offering a little comfort, "But you can't keep running away from it like this. You have to face it, otherwise it will eat you up." Ushijima merely hummed in response and Oikawa gently patted his shoulder before heading into the bathroom, leaving Ushijima there to dwell on what he said.

* * *

A week had past and Tendou's fingers were beginning to look a lot better, it made Ushijima happy, he still hadn't asked about it yet and it was distracting him during practice. Which led to Oikawa poking fun at him about it, "Ushiwaka-chan, just take a picture already," Ushijima turned to glare at Oikawa, who was grinning like he'd won something, "You could talk to him. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't noticed that you like him."

"Who does Ushijima like?" The sound of Semi's voice only made Ushijima want to kill Oikawa more for opening his mouth.

"No-one," He simply replied and walked away from the two of them before he ended up murdering both of them. He focused on practising his serve and running through some spikes with their other setter, Mizoushi; Tendou was across the net with Sawamura and Hisaka, who was one of their substitute wing spikers. Ushijima got pared up with Tendou to run through some receives after the coach seemed happy with how the spikes were going; one of Tendou's serves left a mark on Ushijima's arms and he felt a little taken off-guard by it, "Tendou, have you been practising?"

"Oh yeah! What do you think?" It wasn't like Oikawa's, or his own, a specific air of Tendou seemed to come with it and Ushijima approached his friend to take a long look at his hands, "Waa, what Wakatoshi-kun?!"

"You hurt your hands, didn't you?"

"I want to be a better player for the team! Other universities will be stronger, so I wanted to provide more than just my block, so we don't have to rely on a pinch server as much."

"Don't push yourself," Ushijima sighed, dropping Tendou's hands before he ended up squeezing them in his grip; he thought Tendou was fine how he was and he almost had to bite his tongue from saying too much, "It's bad enough that Oikawa collapsed."

"I'll be fine," Tendou wriggled his fingers with a grin, "They're healed now," He turned away from Ushijima to grab another ball, "One more!" Ushijima returned to the other side of net, not missing the look he got from Oikawa, like he was waiting for something to change, he couldn't help but glare and Oikawa looked away quickly; Ushijima clenched his fist and focused back on his receives, they switched once the coach was happy.

Slowly, practice died down to a finish and Ushijima left quickly, followed closely by Oikawa, "Ushiwaka-chan! Don't be rude. I thought you were going to say something."

"I can't," Ushijima stopped, sighing softly and turning to face Oikawa, "I'm not like you, you should know this, and I can't easily put my faith in something uncertain. I can't see what will happen, I can't even predict it, or him. This is fine."

"Is it really? Are you happy like this?"

Ushijima swallowed, he didn't know how to answer that question; of course he wanted to be with Tendou, and he loved that idea, but he didn't think he was currently unhappy with how things were, he liked having Tendou as a friend. Just as he was about to speak his mind, he saw familiar bright hair heading their way, "Wakatoshi-kun!"

"Yeah, _Wakatoshi-kun_, you've got this."

Oikawa patted his arm then headed off, Tendou caught up to Ushijima and smiled, "Is Oikawa heading back already? I thought we could go for a bite to eat again."

"Yeah. He said he's tired."

"Come on then!" Tendou grasped Ushijima's wrist and began leading them to the ramen shop that they'd gone to before; Ushijima couldn't take his eyes off Tendou's fingers, he reached out and gently touched them, "Huh?" Tendou stopped to look at Ushijima, "Is something wrong?"

"Your fingers," Tendou looked down, he couldn't see an issue with them now, they'd healed and looked better in his eyes; he looked up to Ushijima's face and his eyebrows shot up. The worry creasing Ushijima's brow made Tendou's stomach flip, "Are you sure they're okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah, don't worry about it," His heart was pounding, far too loud in his ears, he had to get away from Ushijima before his face gave away anything, "Come on Wakatoshi-kun! I'm starving!"

Tendou went to move away, but Ushijima still didn't budge and he had to swallow at the sturdiness of Ushijima, "Satori, this is serious," He turned his head back, confused. His wrist was beginning to feel warm from Ushijima's touch; his throat felt dry and he had to swallow, "I'm worried. What if you do collapse?"

"I won't! I am pacing myself, I just over did it one night."

Ushijima stepped closer and rose Tendou's hand so he could take a better look at his fingers, Tendou thought he could drop right then, "They don't look bad."

"They're healing fine! The nurse said so too."

"Good," Ushijima slowly let go, he saw a wave of relief wash over Tendou and it made him step back, "Sorry."

"Uh? No-no! It's okay Wakatoshi-kun! You were just worried, I understand," He was flailing his arms in front of himself and Ushijima's hands twitched at his side; he reached out and gently took Tendou's wrists, Tendou gasped at the sudden change, feeling the heat rush up his arms and neck, into his cheeks, "Wha...?"

"Satori," Ushijima focused on Tendou's face, the light from the street-lights illuminated his face, the soft pink dusting his cheeks made Ushijima pause for a moment. He'd seen this before. From girls who would nervously approach him and whisper how they felt. For the first time, Ushijima felt his heart skip, and he smiled softly, "I like you."

Tendou's head spun at those words, his breath froze for a second, and he blinked, once, twice, "Well, we are friends, right?"

"I didn't mean that," He softly squeezed Tendou's wrists, "I really like you, more than friends."

"Oh..." Tendou felt his heart flutter, he couldn't find the words and Ushijima's grip was beginning to wane, "Me too! I do too!" He sparked back quickly, holding onto Ushijima's arms in return, "I really like you Wakatoshi."

Ushijima's smile grew and it made Tendou smile too, he'd never seen Ushijima look so happy before, "Good, I'm glad. I was worried about ruining our friendship."

"Me too. I always saw those girls hanging around you and they were always so pretty, I thought eventually one was bound to catch your eye."

"No. You already had," Ushijima rose a hand to cup Tendou's cheek; they stared at each other before Tendou leaned up and pressed his lips to Ushijima's. Ushijima's hand slid to the back of Tendou's head and he held him close as their lips moved together; Tendou grasped at Ushijima's arms and when they broke the kiss, he pressed their heads together, "Satori...Thank you."

Tendou chuckled, gently rubbing his fingers across Ushijima's arm, "I don't know what for. We're together now, right?"

"Of course," Ushijima couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face; Tendou made him far too happy, it was like a dream that this was actually happening. But the soft touch of Tendou's fingers reminded him it was real, he slowly pulled away and took Tendou's hand in his own, "Now, about that ramen." Tendou nodded, grasping tightly onto Ushijima's hand; they happily walked to the ramen shop together, both unable to stop smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> maybe I'll write a pt.2, if anyone wants to see more.


End file.
